I have to first say, sorry I have not posted anything in a few weeks. I went on vacation and spent some time away. Upon returning, I have been trying to get back up to speed and prepare for heading off to Mexico. I am so excited to be joining many of you in Mexico. It will be my first trip there.
You must be wondering what is going on here at the Blue Deer. We have had a few weeks of quiet. The business meetings held in August were very productive for all three organizations and many left with much work to do.
Maria has been working hard getting the firewood moved and stored for upcoming events and for the winter. She with help of some local young men have moved mountains. As well as keeping everything else in shape before she also heads down to Mexico in a few days.
As I sat here yesterday, looking at the reports, lists, my calendar and reading list of emails, book and articles, I began to feel overwhelmed. Communicating with all of our community is something I have been trying to achieve on a regular basis and sometimes, I feel I don't do enough. As this feeling began taking over all my thoughts and I started feeling ineffective. I stopped and thought:
why do people come here?
What are they looking for?
What does that mean to me?
So I put down my work, closed my computer and decided to go and sit outside. Sitting outside and avoiding the work on my desk seemed like a better idea that actually getting work done. Then I thought maybe I should really think about Blue Deer while I was sitting outside. So I decided I should really take a good look at what Blue Deer means to me and all who come here while I was avoiding my work. Now, I know everyone has there reasons for coming and they are different for each one of us, but I think it is the feeling of connection that is the underlying reason. I feel it too. It is the personal relationship with the land and what ever else that feeling is that touches each time we land here.
As I walked out the door of the office, I grabbed the video camera and found myself walking past my normal rest spot on the porch and walking down the stairs toward the field. I sat down on the stone stairs and took in the view. I took a few deep breaths of fresh air and just sat and listened. I heard the birds, the wind, the river and myself begin to quiet.
I must have sat there for a half an hour. I watched birds fly by and then notice that the clouds barely moved across the sky. It almost seemed that time had stopped for awhile to let me take in the beauty of the day. The sky was a vivid blue and the clouds were the most perfect white. The greens of the mountains seemed to be more deep and then I noticed the hints of fall. An occasional splash of red or yellow starting in a few places on the mountains.
All of the sudden, I felt the river call me to her side. I got up and walked down the trail. Her voice growing louder as I got closer. I found myself going to an area where I don't usually go to sit and visit with her. I walked down the beautiful stairs that seem to welcome you to her side. I found a large rock right by her side and sat. I heard sounds I had never heard before. I heard a bass sound that seemed to give her voice a rhythm and then the more melodic sounds to complete her song.
At this point, you may be thinking, "yes, I have heard that before, where have you been that you have not heard this?" I have heard this before but I don't think I have really heard it in this way. It touched me deeply. I watched the leaves swirl in the water as they traveled through the water. I became involved in the bubbling of the water as it traveled over rocks and and fell in falls down to lower levels. I was absorbed into everything that was the river and everything that was me. It became one. I may have sat there for an hour or for ten minutes, I am really not sure how long it was. I seem to awake for this experience to arrive at the moment of clarity for me. I was able to get up and head back to work knowing that what I had on my plate might be a lot but it was worth every moment.
Please enjoy and watch this short video of the view I watched on that perfect day and the sounds of the river that I heard on that perfect day.
click here
I am blessed each and every day. Thank you Blue Deer and thank you to all of you!
Jenn
